AYSHA’S WORLD

September 20, 2006

Seems like yesterday.

We ran madly in the rain

Careless of lightning, muddying our white frocks,

Laughing, laughing,

Trying to hold onto an umbrella,

As the wind whipped wildly around us.

Seems like yesterday.

We held hands and stood on the balcony

Counting the wavy blue lines on the ocean

Dreaming impossible dreams

Spinning cobweb fancies

And cried at the very thought of parting.

Seems like yesterday.

We held our ears to the cracks in the walls

That divided our classrooms

And wrote notes under the teacher’s nose

And quarreled and made up

And laughed, always laughed.

Seems like yesterday.

Is this really us?

Are we really here, in this place, in this time?

Are these,

The adult burdens we carry

The somber issues we face

The realities of our lives?

Are these our dreams

Lying shattered at our feet?

Are these the walls

That time has used to imprison us?

Where are you my friend,

Cherished part of my being?

Have we lost each other in the web of life?

Still, seems like yesterday

September 15, 2006

You are

You are……..

 

The sparkle in my eye
When I laugh
From sheer joy.

 

You are……..

 

The lilt in my voice
When I speak
Of what I am.

 

You are…………

 

The teardrop on my cheek
When I behold
Indescribable beauty.

 

You are……

 

The strength of my hands
When I reach out
To help the fallen.

 

You are…

 

The warmth in my embrace
When I comfort
The stricken.

 

You are…

 

The light of my being
The fountain of my wisdom
The foundation of my soul.

 

Because of You…….

 

I am.

September 14, 2006

Suffering in Trinco

The rain pours down through the incomplete roof, drenching the floors of the dilapidated home they live in. Artillery fire echoes nearby – the sound of the war that has returned to haunt their lives – and the walls of the house tremble and crack. A few cardboard boxes hold their meager belongings – tattered clothes, a book or two. Sleepless nights are spent bailing water off the floors. Daylight dawns and there is a new set of problems to be faced. Where is the next meal to come from? Will they eat at all that day? 

For Sujeewa Pathmini and her six children ranging in age from 19 to 7, this is the life they have always known. Sujeewa’s husband, a fisherman, survived a gunshot wound in the head in 1985 when he and several others were attacked by LTTE gunmen as they were fishing in their boat. He survived – yet has all but lost his mind. On days when he is coherent, he still goes accompanied by others, on fishing expeditions. Most days are spent mumbling in his house, unaware of the world around him. 

With no income of her own, and no training for any sort of proper employment, Sujeewa was faced with the tremendous task of raising four children on her own. Helped by the fishing community in which she lived to get by from day to day, she gave them the only things she really could – self respect, dignity, and a determination to survive. 

It is difficult to think of education when you’re battling hunger, don’t have clothes to wear or a safe place to sleep in. Yet Sujeewa made sure that all her children went to school. Two of her sons, Sujith and Ashuntha, were taken into a Children’s Home, where they amazed everyone with their quick learning and exceptional talents. Sujith, who was ten when he arrived at the home, could barely read, yet today at fifteen is at the head of his class and also a school prefect. Twelve year old Ashuntha is especially gifted with his pencil and draws remarkably well. 

Apart from a steady education, the Home also helped them in other aspects. Recently Ashuntha was brought to Colombo for surgery in his ear, to rectify a problem that had been there since childhood. This was brought to light only at a Medical Camp that the Home organised for the children. 

Despite this Sujeewa must still think of the four children and her husband at home. Her eldest son, at 19, is being trained as a diver, and tries to contribute from his meager earnings. The others are still in school. 

For now, she only desperately yearns for a proper roof over their heads and plastered walls that will survive the heavy vibrations of the gunfire around them. There is no furniture in the house – nothing even for a child to place a book on. Once, collecting firewood was an option to earn a living, but today is fraught with danger – a stroll into the forest might bring death. 

Sujeewa and her family are only one in many who suffer the same plight. Is it fate that their existence must continue in this manner? Has society condemned these people to such a life? Will not someone hear their silent cries? 
 

September 13, 2006

Fusion

I hurl
Against the wall
I shatter
Into a billion pieces……

 

I sink
Into the ocean
I dissolve
Into a thousand droplets…..

 

I burn
Into the sun
I melt
Into golden liquid….

 

I bury
Into the earth
I diminish
Into dust….

 

 

I fade
Into the air
I scatter
Into swirling breezes…..

 

I hurl
Against life

 

I break
I vanish

 

Am I  nothing?

 

Perhaps….

 

I am everything.

June 22, 2006

What is Love

I’ve been working on an article on ‘reasons for divorce’ for the past month or so. While it’s been driving me crazy, it also gave me a lot of insight into marital issues and married life in today’s society.

 

Ofcourse it goes without saying that there is less tolerance for problems, less room for adjustment among young married couples nowadays. And extramarital affairs…….looks like just about everyone’s having a fling right?

 

Is it so hard now to be faithful to one person? What is true love anyway? I think most of us mistake ‘love’ for that heady, wild, delicious sensation of actually ‘falling in love’, when everything is new and incredibly exciting, the lightest touch is heaven and your partner is perfection itself. Maybe all these people having affairs are just trying to replicate that feeling, mistaking it for true love.

 

I guess it takes a great deal of maturity to understand that this ‘fairy tale feeling’  is only the beginning of the long path love must travel…..When I think of Talib and me, and all the ups and downs…and its been a lot of downs…..we’ve been through together….I know that things may not be wildly romantic all the time, and mundane things like household chores and child-raising may seem to take over most of our day-day interactions….but everytime I look into his eyes and we say ‘ I love you’ to each other, I know that is true love……..

He’s my best friend, my lover, my prince charming, the father of my child, the best thing that ever happened to me.

There have been temptations…..for both of us……but we know that what we have together is too precious to harm with an impulse that may be gone tomorrow.

June 20, 2006

I’m hurting-are you?

I am hurting. I look at the bodies of the little children killed in yesterday’s claymore attack, and I think-that could have been my child. I am crying-perhaps not for the children themselves-but rather for their parents, their mothers, who will suffer this nightmare for as long as they live.

Perhaps death was instantaneous for the children, perhaps they felt no pain, but were taken at once into the arms of loving angels. Surely, surely, it must be so, for they are only little children.

But what of their parents? How will they live, knowing that they were unable to protect them? They say one mother lost all three of her children. How she must have loved them-how many years she must have spent carrying them inside her, giving birth, raising them, dreaming for them? What will she do with her suddenly empty arms? How can life go on for her?

I am so afraid. I am afraid because I have been there-I know what it is like in the shadow of death-the shadow that fell on my child and me. Precious, precious little life! I would die for my son-but a hundred times over, I would live to watch him live.

Over and over again I hear the voices of raw grief that entered the homes across the country through TV. I feel their pain.

I feel so afraid and vulnerable. Tomorrow, I keep thinking, it could be you or me. Children die, and we say the War has returned. Life is fragile now, and every moment we have with each other immeasurably dear. For me, all I can do is pray and trust in God that there He has a plan which will come through in the end.






















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